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C. Curtis Schrock
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Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in the "C. Curtis Schrock" journal:
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11:48 pm
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A Prayer
Lord and Master of the Universe,
I repent.
Rather than seeking you, one Godhead in Three Persons, I sought only your attribute.
I only sought holiness, and not You.
Holiness is only an aspect of who you are, and in my fraility I turned your attribute into an idol.
Victory is not found in where one is going.
Victory is not found in the destination.
Rather, victory is determined by Who you are traveling with.
I forgot that you called me to this journey; and I forgot about soul-making.
May the Love of God, the Grace of Christ, and the Fellowship of the Spirit guide me to You, Emmanuel.
May God be with all of humanity.
May God truly be with us.
And may I pursue God in Spirit and in Truth.
Amen.
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05:27 pm
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Christmas Break 2005!!! Part 2
Sometimes I get this feeling where I wish God would speak to me audibly. Most of the time I am walking around in confusion, and I am not very certain as to whether or not what I am doing is what I am supposed to be doing (I hope that makes sense and I hope you relate to it.) Simply put, sometimes I wonder if I am living my life authentically, and when I wonder these things all of my actions are suspect. However . . .
There have been a few moments in my life when I had a peace about certain actions, like asking my fiancé to marry me; I felt pretty good about that one. I had a hankering that she was the girl I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, and I have never second guessed that decision or my having asked her to be my wife! I love that word – wife. She will be my wife and I will be her husband.
Lately I have been thinking about how humans being comprised of what seem to be both physical and nonphysical qualities. Boy that is confusing, and boy the implications are grand, and boy, next time you see me, we should talk about it.
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08:16 pm
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Christmas Break 2005!!!
Victory.
I am one semester away from completing my undergraduate degree. Isn't that funny. My major is Religion and Philosophy. The other day a classmate asked me why I didn't double major in Christian Ministries or in Biblical Literature - my response was that I didn't want to "muddy" things up; I suppose that is true, but I should have been more honest and told him that I wanted to major in Religion and Philosophy, and not in Christian Ministries (Biblical Literature would be interesting but if had to choose between R&P and Bib Lit, R&P would win every day, every way).
I have been doing really well in school these past few semesters; 3.94 and a 3.92. Church History I and II stopped me from having that perfect 4.0. I have never had a 4.0 and it would be nice to acheive one before I get out of here. My last chance is this next and last semester; the pressure is on.
My grades really aren't that important. Grades are kind of like cheerleaders; I could live without them as easily as I have with them.
I have also been thinking alot about the Triune Godhead lately; the kind of thinking that tries to keep you up at night when you are trying to fall asleep. I have been reading out of Genesis, Matthew, the Psalms, and Proverbs lately. All of those are intersting - of them Matthew is the most uninteresting (no offense to the author or the Holy Spirit). Its just a simple matter of fact that I find Genesis and the wisdom literature more intersting than the Gospel according to Matthew. However, if it were the Gospel according to Luke and John, well that would be a very different story.
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08:02 pm
[Link] | I am engaged to Julie L. Martinez. Wedding in May.
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02:21 pm
[Link] | Do you believe in a personal God?
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01:06 pm
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Eric
Furthermore, of course:
I have a friend named Eric H. I met him at the University during the previous schoolyear. He is a writing and a painting major. Today, during my lunch break, I stopped by his studio and we talked for nearly the full hour.
He/his work is inspirational.
This summer his wife is working full-time so he can dedicate his time and effort entirely upon his artwork. I must say, he is only two months into the summer, and from the body of work he has shown me, the sacrifices he and his wife have been making are well worth it. He is not only learning but producing.
His work is honest. The best part is that he is realizing that he is becoming a more and more honest artist. I, however, am not an honest artist. I am still trying to figure out what authenticity really means for me. I am still trying to figure out who I am; what is my relationship to the Master of the Universe? I have stopped learning and producing.
Why have I stopped learning? Because I am afraid of what conclusions I will reach
Why have I stopped producing? Because I am afraid of the conclusions I will endorse.
In the midst of poverty
In the midst of an aids epidimic
In the midst of the southeast asia disaster
In the midst of political debauchery
In the midst of the NBA finals
I stand condemned - for a sole reason - I have not been fulfilling my call. What is my call? That at every moment of my existence - at every indivisible point - I live as an end, not a means.
As I was saying, Eric is inspirational. Today he has been a Christ-figure. But you want to know what is interesting, he probably didn't even intend to do that, nothing about his actions or thought process was dedicated to manipulating me into this Christ-encounter. Which becomes even more startling when I hold him up to the girl I saw today with a "Vote for Jesus" shirt.
Somehow - by some dark magic - we have poured dozens of youth leaders into our churches who are convinced that "Vote for Jesus" shirts are winning souls unto Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior. I would trade in ten of those youth leaders and every one of those shirts for my friend, Eric, any day.
It doesn't take much thought to realize which subject is sincere - which subject is honest - which subject is learning - which subject has produced something of value - which subject has contributed to the Kingdom? So, shall I cast the first stone? No. Nor shall I ever begin casting. I will continue to petition the Master of the Universe - is it possible to see things as He sees them?
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11:48 am
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We are the Romans
I have been thinking about Romans 8:18-27 lately. Too often we take an illustration from scripture and we only look at it from one angle. Just when we think we know something, that is exactly when we ought to look at it from a new perspective. Just when you think you know something you need to take a different angle.
It seems that most people approach the "lady in childbirth" illustration, polarize it, and then only look at the birth pains of childbirthing. However, could it be that this is illustration is twofold? We should look at that - but - if we follow this theme - the children of God - then perhaps the illustration is referring less to the pain of childbirth and more to the miracle and blessing found in those moments. What is a childbirth? It is part of the developmental process of a human being. It is fundamental to being human. To be human is to be born - being birthed.
Our souls are in a process. Sown in weakness, to be raised in power. This is our soul-making journey. Diga, diga, diga.
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12:44 pm
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Fall 2004 - Spring 2005
This is a quick summary of a few of the papers from the past school year:
PHL of Religion: Three Christian views on the relationship between God and time (Open Theism/Process Theology/Traditional Account).
Ancient/Medieval PHL: Plato (research paper) specifically his theory of knowledge and being born at the end of the Athenian Golden Age.
Ethics: Political Ethics presenation (blah blah blah) - had a great time with this class. Belief Destroyer 101
Modern and Contemporary PHL: Nietzschian Objectivism (explored relationship between Niet.'s Higher Man and Ayn Rand's Ideal Man (put forth in her novels - Atlas Shrugged/The Fountainhead - as well as other works)
Independent Study: Children of God: Does John Hick's Soul Making Theodicy Necessitate Rejecting Traditioal Christ Centered Views of the Economy of Salvation?
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08:25 am
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A Good Feeling
I have just finished wrapping up course requirments for my junior year at the University. After the Spring semester I took a May Term class, MAT104-A Sample Surveying. They say it is the easiest math course our catalog offers. As far as course work goes, it was pretty easy, but we had to do a group project and that always sucks the fun out of things. "No, I do not wish to write a paper with you. I am Curt, I am."
I also received an extension for my Independent Study. It was a pure joy to spend as much time as I did defending and arguing on the behalf of John Hick's Soul-Making Theodicy. I really am convinced that his theodicy is not necessarily linked to his pluralisitic views. Intellectually I respect Hick's arguments for Religious Pluralism, but I know that I could never embrace them without thwarting my personal religious experiences. If I have any integrity, I really hope it is due in part to my human experience. To me, they seem much less precarious than accepting whatever doctrine is handed to you. But, it is kind of funny that I say these things because Hick cites his personal experiences as motivations for his shift theologically/philosophically (Hick was once a Christian Fundamentalist). Still, that is probably the reason I respect his view so much. There is something powerful about the human testimony! I suppose the Psalmist was wise when he encouraged others to "Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayers or withheld his love from me!" -- Ps. 66:16,20
In any case, I hope to spend some time camping or hiking this weekend while I am in Michigan.
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12:00 am
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Spring Break is Coming Up
Spring break is coming up and a group of guys from college are heading to New Orleans and the Gulf. I am very excited about getting away from school for a week. I need the break mentally and probably physically; a body going through the same motions has not been healthy. You can only walk the same path to a class and climb the same set of stairs so many times uninterrupted.
Also, this is exciting, within the Philosophy division a bunch of students decided to start meeting once a week to discuss, debate, present, and make ourselves available to one another; the more bodies present to bounce ideas off of the more dross will be removed through this refining process. In any case, this group of guys is such a blessing. With fear and trembling we're struggling through issues relating to our faith, schooling, and life. The first thing I am going to ask them to assess is an article I want to write in response to our school heading up a ROTC program. So, until then, everybody take care.
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02:03 am
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Spring Semester
I have an Independent Study this semester. My sense is that it will be a very beneficial experience. There will be several interesting things to be researched, reviewed, interpreted, and analyzed. All in all I think it is going to premise on this sort of an idea --> Apocatastasis and Interfacing John Hick's Soul-Making Theodicy: Do they necessitate Religious Pluralism?
My sense is that Apocatastasis and Hick's Soul-Making Theodicy do not necessitate Religious Pluralism.
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09:01 pm
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Honesty:
"Spit on me, but, oh, repent! Laugh at me, but, oh, believe in my Master! Make my body as the dirt of the streets, but damn not your own souls!"
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
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01:44 am
[Link] | Sing...sing as one, of those songs of Virginia.
Sing those songs...sing as one...those songs of Virginia.
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10:39 pm
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Virginia
she keeps me alive
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05:57 pm
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Virginia
Everything Alive is Virginia.
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